Why the Cold Calls?

Some days and weeks are worse than others, with some predictability, but being the "decision maker" or "person in charge of IT" for an enterprise (according to the receptionist for the company's main telephone number) will earn you quite a few unsolicited phone calls.

Some are indecipherable. Some are bravado-laden, and some are frought with stammering and uncertainty. Some are from companies I'd heard of, but most are from nobody's. None of them are made with an intelligent human being on the other end.

I've established a heirarchy, detailing the rank of common sub-human life form career paths. It is as follows:

1. Multi-level Marketing Disciple
2. New Copier Salesperson
3. Used Copier Salesperson
4. Copier technician
5. New Car Salesperson (domestic models)
6. Used Car Salesperson
7. Door-to-door salesperson
8. Cold-calling technology salesperson / technology recruiter
9. Telemarketers
10. Multi-level Marketing Leader (e.g. Amway's DeVoss & Van Andel, Arbonne's M0rck, etc)

In my opinion, this group sits just above convicted felons, and just below the guys who mop up the floors of adult theaters in New York City. As you can see, cold-calling telemarketers are nearly at the bottom of the list.

No offense.

Anyway, one of my great weaknesses is assuming that people are not in fact that ignorant. If I could get over this fundamental belief, I'm certain I could become a multi-billionaire. After all, it's the perception of customer ignorance that convinces vendors that calling people out of the blue and taking up their time to talk about stupid crap that they had better already have in hand on the off chance that they are in the market and would like to talk to you is actually a sound business development strategy.

The day I have to cold-call 'prospects' is the day you find me hanging by my tie from a water pipe above the drop ceiling.